But I’m too nice to confront him about it?
Source: Elle
BY E. JEAN JUN 28, 2017 MIA FEITEL
Dear E. Jean: When I visited the ER—I’d sprained my wrist—the doctor and I seemed to feel a genuine connection and spark. He was in his early thirties, good-looking, professional; I assumed he was involved with someone. But he seemed nervous (I was too!), and when he asked if I had a boyfriend, I was so flustered, I just said, “Yes,” but I didn’t.
Fast-forward a couple of years. I’ve recently discovered that I’ve been followed by several private investigators hired by the doctor. (I was informed of this by one of them, who didn’t seem to like the doctor much.) I then hired my own investigator (I went to police but they were no help), and it turns out the doctor has set up private investigators as tenants in the townhouse across from mine that was for rent, and he’s ordered me to be videotaped going in and out!
The police say that hiring PIs is legal and photographing private citizens in public is okay. The doctor seemed so nice, so “normal.” However, what he’s done and is still doing is not normal! We did seem to like each other, but I’m too nice a person and I’m afraid to confront him and tell him to stop. I imagine he’ll deny everything. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been told my beauty is intimidating to guys. Is he so fearful of rejection that this is all he could think to do? —No Exit From the ER
Miss No Exit: Your wits, temporarily, no doubt, my luv, have deserted you. Dr. Nervous is bankrolling a pack of private dicks to tail you (and planning God only knows what further abominations), and you, Miss “Nice Person,” are writing to Auntie Eeee because you’re worried that you may be “intimidating” to him?
I admire your sangfroid, but this crawling, skulking, spying, townhouse-renting, chicken-livered, dangerous little quack should be in jail.
Hire a lawyer specializing in—here comes a brain mangler—the Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act (HIPAA). In these bizarre times, when Uncle Sam is hacking your calls, texts, emails, packages, etc., one mighty fortress of privacy remains in America: your health information. And when your lawyer informs the hospital and its bloated band of legists that this doc, using private information that you provided in the ER, is paying PIs to have you followed and videotaped, they will (to employ a medical term) totally freak.
You may file the complaint yourself, using this link: www.hhs.gov/ocr/privacy/hipaa/complaints/index.html. But you’re such a romantic (“We did seem to like each other,” etc.) and so sweet tempered (“Is he so fearful of rejection?”) that I think it’s wise to have a warrioress lawyer at your side who will have a restraining order issued against Dr. Good-Looking if he dares flick an eyelash in your direction. You must gather proof that the doc is paying to have you followed and make vigorous arrangements for your own safety, and please think twice before allowing your lawyer to shellac the hospital for excessive damages—or we will all foot the bill with higher insurance costs.
So much for the advice portion of this answer. Now. A word in your shell-like ear: That twaddle that you’ve been told you intimidate guys?? Come on. Every female is told she intimidates men. It’s total crap. If women intimidated men, we’d be heading 100 percent of the Fortune 500 companies (instead of 4 percent of them). The truth is, we are not intimidating men enough.
Good luck. Let me know how you are doing.
This letter is from the E. Jean archive.
Would you recognize unethical health care practices if you saw them? What do they look like? What should one do?
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