Stalking in JAPAN Series P10

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Safety Planning: Stopping Communication with the Stalker

Consider cutting off any and all communication with the stalker. Many stalkers misinterpret any contact (even negative contact) as encouragement. Some victims feel that they should ensure the stalker knows that the contact is unwanted. If that is true for your situation, you may consider telling the stalker once – and only once – that you do not want any contact. After that, it is important to consider cutting all ties with the stalker, including not answering messages or calls.

Some examples of how to express your desire for no contact include:

“I am not interested in having a relationship with you. Do not contact me ever again.”
“Do not call, stop by, text, or contact me in any way whatsoever.”
“I do not want you to contact me in any way. If you continue to do so – or if you are on my property, or follow me – I will call the police.”
“I am ending this relationship. I am not going to change my mind. Do not contact me again. I do not want to have any communication with you, in any form. If you try to contact me, I will call the police/take legal action.”

While disengagement is advisable, it is not always possible or realistic to cease all communication. Some victims feel safer by communicating with their stalkers to gain information on the stalker’s mood and plans. Some victims must maintain contact with their stalker due to shared custody of their children. It is important to understand how continued contact can impact an order of protection or a criminal case, so please discuss this with the professional who is assisting you with your safety planning.

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