Source: Colorado University
Photo / Image Source: Unsplash,
January is Stalking Awareness Month
Popular culture, like shows and movies, can make it seem like persistence is the key to winning someone over. However, persistence can quickly turn into discomfort or fear when it’s unwelcome. Here are a few things everyone should know about stalking.
#1 Stalking can take many forms
Stalking goes beyond following someone. It can include a variety of tactics, which can happen in person and/or online. Stalking is defined as a pattern of unwanted behavior, directed at a specific person, which causes that person to change their routine or feel afraid, threatened or in danger.
Examples of stalking behaviors include:
Repeated, unwanted phone calls, texts, messages, etc. that may or may not include direct threats
Creating fake profiles to continue contacting a person after they have been blocked on someone’s personal account
Observing, following or “coincidentally” showing up wherever the person goes
Waiting outside of the person’s class, home, job, car, etc.
Leaving notes, gifts or other items for the person
Spreading rumors online and/or in person
Posting messages or images of the person on social media or in discussion groups without permission
Vandalism or destruction of property, including sabotaging school or other work
Breaking into the person’s home, workplace or car
Hacking into the person’s social media, email or other accounts
Collecting information about or attempting to contact the person through friends, family members, coworkers or acquaintances
#2 Stalking can happen to anyone
While stalking is often directed at someone from a previous or current intimate relationship, a person can also be stalked by roommates, friends, classmates, colleagues or someone they have never met or only met once, including matches on dating apps.
Here are some ways to identify healthy, unhealthy and concerning behaviors that may prompt someone to seek additional help or support:
Healthy boundaries are: When you say “no” the other person respectfully leaves you alone and does not attempt to contact you again.
Unhealthy behaviors are: When you say “no” the other person continues to contact you again and again.
Consider discussing with someone or documenting what is happening: When you say “no” more than once and the other person tries to talk you into saying “yes,” continues to contact you and/or contacts you more often.
Consider seeking help from an advocate, the police, or other professional: When you are contacted repeatedly, the other person shows up where you are, indirectly threatens you, is disrespectful and/or does not take “no” for an answer.
Call 911: When the other person directly threatens you, tries to harm you, harms you or damages your property (including your pets).
#3 Context is key
Gift giving, location tracking, or sending multiple texts can be components of a healthy friendship or romantic relationship. It can feel really special for your roommate to bring you a coffee just because or have friends checking an app to make sure you got home safe. The key here is that these behaviors are wanted and help increase a sense of safety within the relationship.
Stalking, on the otherhand, is a pattern of unwanted behavior that reduces a person’s sense of safety. From the outside it may look similar to some of those innocuous behaviors, but to the person experiencing it, it can really feel threatening. The context of the behavior and the impact it has on the recipient is key.
How can such practice impact your health? how? Why?
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